To be or not to be, that is the question. Oh fucking A, Hamlet, you're one indecisive son of a gun, aren't ya? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Shakespeare, but I'm just not into Hamlet right now. I'm too horny to read anything besides a porno magazine. So, instead of reading Hamlet this afternoon, I checked my fantasy football team, affectionately known as the Cunt Punters. Sufficiently dirty, yet football appropriate.
Yes, you read correctly...I'm a proud fantasy football player. I'm the only girl I know who does this, but I'm sure there's many out there. See, I love football. I love the atmosphere of going to a football game, whether it's a pee-wee Pop Warner team, or going to my favorite NFL team's game. (It's the Chicago Bears, duh)I love football season. I love how when football season starts, the weather starts to turn crisper and the leaves become crunchy. I love how I can wear all my Bears or Notre Dame apparel on Saturdays, Sundays, Mondays, and sometimes Thursdays. I like arguing with my friends from out of state about why the Bears are the best team in NFL history.
Football is being able to talk a bunch of smack about your favorite team or about the team you hate the most and praying that their actions during the game backs up your argument. It's about a little girl bonding with her dad as he explains the game to her. Or in my case, a fourteen year old girl who goes to the school nurse insisting that she's ill, calls her mother to pick her up from school, then calls her dad at work to beg him to take her an hour away to meet her favorite football star. That's a true story, one of my favorite memories. Although now I look at it a bit differently....like what I would have said/done if my father wasn't present, ahem, but oh well. At least I can say that my favorite #54 loved my nail polish (yeah, it's true, he said it).
Football is relaxing with your friends, enjoying a beer, and praying for a safety when the other team is pinned deep in their own territory. It's about enduring the freezing cold weather and trying to fit your ten layers of clothes clad ass into the stadium seats mid-January. It's about making best friends with the drunk dudes in front of you who apologize for swearing in the presence of a "lady," but, dammit, that call was such fucking bullshit.
Ahhh, I love football.
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1 comment:
Well, they DID kick the Colts ass.
I like football, but I hate just about all other sports.
The best thing to go with football is lots and lots of food and possibly turkey around thanksgiving.
I wouldn't do fantasy football, but the video games are the bomb.
But, I have some trouble with the Bears uniforms. Too close to Auburn University. Although a good friend of mine is named after a certain incredibly awesome Bears player.
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