When a college student decides to dress up and participate in the festivities of Halloween, there are only two options for costumes: bare it all or make sure your costume is damn funny. For girls, it leans towards the bare it all option. Halloween is said to be the only time when a girl can dress like a slut and not be called on it however, I disagree. If you dress like a slut on Halloween, it's because you want attention and figure that other girls are going to be skanking it up just as much, so why wouldn't you? Dignity and birthmark that nobody knows about be damned. Wear a corset and a witch's hat and voila! You're a sexy wench. Congratulations.
So, when I googled Halloween costumes, you can only imagine the results that turned up. Lover's Lane, Frederick's of Hollywood, Chelsea's of New York, all places known for their lingerie are in the business of selling Halloween costumes. In reality, you pay $80+ for a camisole, a skirt, and some lace. You can be the slut nurse, the slut teacher, the slut cop, the slut stewardess, the slut librarian, the slut vampire, the slut coroner (necrophilia anyone?), and even the slut mental patient, see "Ella Mental". What a fantastic variety of options, isn't it? Just make sure you have at least a C cup to fill out the bustier and a plump ass to round out the skirt. Porn makeup is optional.
For girls like me, who are very sexual and sensual, but don't feel the need to expose their ass cheeks at any given opportunity, Halloween becomes kind of awkward. Do we dress up as Little Bo Peep-my-double D-titties, or do we try and do something creative like attaching rocks to yourself and tell everyone that you're "Stoned." Do we sprinkle glitter on our cleavage to look like we just had a quickie with Tinker Belle or do we apply fake blood and brain matter on our bodies? See, it's a tough call. Either you're going to send the message of being "that girl" or you're going to get odd glances and "So, what are you supposed to be" questions all night and end up back in your bed alone at the end of the night.
As for me, I think I might wear my Brian Urlacher jersey, my Bears' witches hat.....and a miniskirt with stiletto pumps. I guess I could say I'm his future ex-wife (the witch hat would mean ex-wife?) or I could just laugh that question off and walk my miniskirt-clad ass off.
About Me
- I'm not mean, I'm just not nice.
- I'm a twenty-one year old female college student from Chicago. As stated above, I'm raw, passionate, real, smart, funny, and above all else, I just can't seem to be nice.
1 comment:
If it absolutely must be Bears themed, I'd go for an Urlacher jersey, a little zombie make-up, with cuts and all "Dawn of the Dead-y" instead of the witch hat, because I can't see witch hat being ex-wife.
If however, you are willing to be a little witty and confuse people and possibly never have a boyfriend who attends the school you're at, go for something clever. Dress like Julia from 1984 or carry around a pig head on a stick and introduce yourself as Jane Merridew.
Or you could dress in something completely ridiculous and random and introduce yourself as a De Chirico painting.
Halloween is about fun. Once you have kids, you have to take them trick-or-treating. This is one of the few times you'll be able to do what you want on Halloween before that dreaded "responsbility". Enjoy it, and don't give a shit what people say about it.
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